Every month we get a Human Resources report on terminations. When they are asked to put a reason why they were terminated, the reasons vary from resigned, got a better job, getting married, moving, sexual misconduct, etc. What I've found is that there isn't a standard list. So, I decided to come up with one based on Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
In order to standardize our Human Resources forms we now use just 7 reasons for termination:
Happy: Had trouble putting nose to the grindstone. Too much time spent telling jokes at the water cooler.
Doc: Left to pursue further schooling, in particular, Ph.D. work.
Sleepy: Chronically late for work. Caused many project delays.
Grumpy: Poor attitude toward work. Not a team player. Trouble with early mornings.
Dopey: Made several critical errors at work costing the company money, e.g., misappropriated company funds.
Sneezy: Recurrent, chronic illness has made it difficult for the employee to complete work in a timely fashion.
Bashful: Lack of initiative. Not willing to make cold calls. Too often let workplace disagreements simmer.
Jealous Queen: Heavy involvement in the occult not congruent with organizational policies.
Snow White: Sexual misconduct, e.g., kissing strange men while under some kind of trance.
Huntsman: Couldn't stand to be cooped up in the office all day. Pursuing work with the National Forest Service.