This hillbilly got married, and on his wedding night he calls his father for advice on what to do since he had never been intimate with a woman before.
"We're in the bedroom, Pa. What do I do now?" Thinking that nature will take its course, the father replied, "Take her clothes off and then you both get in bed."
The hillbilly calls his dad 5 minutes later and says, She's nekid and we're both in bed, What do I do now?"
Knowing his son wasn''t the brightest crayon in the box, his dad asked, "Did you take your clothes off, too?" "No, the son replies. Well take your clothes off and get in bed with her."
The father's patience is quickly running out, and he growls, "Look, son, do I have to spell everything out? Just stick the hardest thing on your body in where she pees!"
The son calls again a minute later. "Ok, Pa, I've got my head in the toilet bowl. Now what?"