59 and Pregnant

A woman went to the doctor's office, where she was seen by a young, new doctor. After about 4 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant. She burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.

The doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 59 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"

The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?

Tender Bit

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said, "Then you used to bite my neck."

Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" she asked

"To get my teeth!"

Used Car

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds.
As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car.

He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were they trying to steal it?

"Heavens no, we bought it."

"Then why don't you drive it away."

"We can't drive."

"Then why did you buy it?"

"We were told that if we bought a car here we'd get screwed ...so we're just waiting.

Couples 25 Anniversary

A couple had been married for 25 years and also celebrated their 60th birthdays. During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them each one wish.

The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and boom! She had the tickets in her hand.

Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."

The fairy picked up her wand and boom! He was 90.