The miracle of toilet paper

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror, complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.


"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."

Willing to try anything, I get a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. "How long will this take?" I ask? "They will grow larger over a period of years," he replies.

I stop. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?" Without missing a beat he says? Worked for your butt, didn't it?"

He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again. Stupid, stupid man

No Name Toilet Paper

A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping.  She is bewildered over the large selection of toilet paper.  "Pardon me, sir," she says to the store manager, "but can you explain the differences in all these toilet papers?"

"Well," he replies pointing out one brand, "this is as soft as a baby's kiss. It's $1.50 per roll."  He grabs another and says, "This is nice and soft as a bunny, strong but gentle, and it's $1.00 a roll."  Pointing to the bottom shelf he tells her, "We call that our No Name brand, and it's $.20 cents per roll."

"Give me the No Name," she says. She comes back about a week later, seeks out the manager and says,  "Hey! I've got a name for your No Name toilet paper.  I call it John Wayne."

"Why?" he asks.

"Because it's rough, it's tough and it don't take crap off anybody!"

Have A Soft And Gentle Day

And Remember, Sometimes Name Brands Do Make A Difference